These are a few of my least favorite things.

After reading Jessica Valenti's Full Frontal Feminism, and being quiet for a while, I've decided it's about time that I get a few things off my chest.

So, here are a few of my least favorite things:

1. "I'm not a feminist, but..." Are you kidding me? The thing is, what usually follows this statement is an incredibly feminist idea. Whenever girls say this to me, I wonder, are they listening to themselves? Part of me wants to explain, very gently, that if they feel strongly enough about it to say something, and if this isn't the only part of society they take issue with, they very well may be feminists. And that is OK. Actually, that is fanTAStic!

2. Boys ordering dinner. Think about it. No really, think about it. A feminist bisexual I know told me once that when she's at a "nice" restaurant, she will ask her boyfriend to order for her, even though she doesn't do it anywhere else. Let's recall, shall we, how when we were little most of us were too shy to ask the waiter for our order. We would tell our parents, and then they would order for us. Asking a boy to order your food for you is internalizing the concept that ownership and responsibility of women passes from their parents (specifically, their father) to their husband (or, in this case, date). Is it really so much for us to take responsibility for what we want to eat in order to buck this outdated, antiquated system? I think not, ladies. I think not.

3. "That slut..." In order to reclaim our sexuality as our own, and not our parents', our partner's, our society's, or the media's, we have got to stop acting like it's something we should keep under wraps. In all of my experience openly discussing topics of sex (sex drives, masturbation, the pill, sexual experiences, etc.), the result has been nothing short of empowering. The first time you mention your sexuality in a more public sphere, it feels wrong, but it also brings a mighty rush. Soon, for me at least, it became a part of my discourse. I wasn't ashamed of talking about my sexuality in front of almost any audience (though I will admit I'd rather not mention it in front of my southern baptist grandmother). And, though to me this has become a part of my everyday experience, it is in itself revolutionary that I or any other woman could become so comfortable with their sexuality that it is a non issue. I'm not trying to glorify my own experience, because it was hard and took the support of a loving group to nudge me out of my comfort zone. I bring up the power factor to highlight the possibilities for the movement if all of us take steps to reclaim our sexualities despite the cultural expectations.

4. Anti-abortion legislation, activism, and general fundie-ness. This shouldn't take long to explain. The fact that I may, as a woman, decide to have sex before marriage, never get married, never have children, or any other thing that involves my lady bits is absolutely none of anyone's business. Roe v. Wade doesn't force women to get abortions, neither does the presence of such organizations as Planned Parenthood. However, anti-abortion activism, along with abstinence-only sex education and other anti-reproductive rights activism and legislation, greatly reduces the choices and rights I have when my own body is concerned. keep your hands and your fundie ideals off of MY UTERUS. It is still mine, right?

5. Political representation of women. In the United States, women have been legally able to be elected to Congress since 1917, and able to vote since 1920. This session of Congress, the 111th, has the highest level of women representatives since 1917. We still only make up 16.8% of Congress. If we're so worried about the legislation that effects us, such as the wage gap, parental leave, discriminatory laws, reproductive rights, and health care, why aren't more of us running, voting, and winning? Of course, I don't claim that a woman by the act of being a woman will be the best possible representative for women. I voted for Barack Obama in the 2008 election based on many different factors, and I would always expect my fellow women to vote based on more than a chromosome. However, as we make up half of the population of the country, and there are both good and bad men in Congress, it stands to reason that there is underepresentation afoot.

6. Feminism as the f word. Feminism, by dictionary definition, is the belief in the equality of the sexes and the movement surrounding that belief. Most people, I think, believe that people are equal no matter what sex or gender they identify with. So why is it that feminism is seen as such a dirty, radical thing? Because it pushes back. Though most people may think they believe in an equal society, they continually reinforce the disenfranchisement of half the population through societal and institutional double standards and discrimination. Feminism challenges the status quo, because that status quo doesn't cut it where gender equality is concerned. Whenever you push on the status quo, you threaten people, and those people are bound to push back. The point is that we have to unabashedly embrace the word and show what we are truly pushing for.

I am feminist, hear me roar!

More later, perhaps a few of my favorite things is still to come?

-g