i'll start out with some feminism and then i'll get to whats really bothering me

So. I looked at the moon tonight and, thanks to Inga Muscio's masterpiece, "Cunt," I thought immediately about how amazing my body is, how it moves in a cycle that puts me at one with the forces that dictate the moon's phases, which in turn dictate the tide. I took a moment to revel in the fact that every month, I am a living reminder of the interconnectedness of this whole crazy thing, and that really comforted me. Atheist that I am, I don't always have the comfort I used to take for granted as a Christian. It awes and inspires me that my body is now my source of comfort in the universe, and the only reason that is true is because I lucked out and was born female.

Thank goodness I am a woman.

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new thought:
how amazing is it that there can be secret-even-to-myself places in my mind? i am constantly and consistently in awe of my body and what it does with no need for my conscious self. the only things that truly astound me, ever so much more than man-created, patriarchy-reflecting savior centered religion, are the things that exist without my thinking them into existence. my cells that fight infection with no brain to spur them onward, they simply are, and do, and what they are and do allows me, my conscious self, to be. i don't even understand myself, and its because i didn't make me. my body would function without my conscious thought propelling it forward. do you ever need to think to breathe? (ok, when you aren't scared shitless for one reason or another?) no. and, do you ever need to really think to walk? no! my body, as afore mentioned, is in tune with the movements of the MOON and i don't have to think one second to make it so. this is what amazes me, this is what i choose to worship. if there is anything worth worshipping, it is what we really and truly will never understand, because it makes US. this whole idea of me existing without the need for conscious thought is somehow incredibly comforting, which is good because i am TIRED.

Next on the agenda (i am writing this here not as a promise, but as a hopeful reminder to my future self to get down to the cuntlovin already): the Starbucks: Exposed! guerilla movement.